Are you my mother? Part 2

If anyone is wondering, I decided I'm not doing it. I'm not going to contact her. I can't put myself through taking the chance that I'll be let down again. I went through that with my father. If she wanted to contact me bad enough, she could. She knows where her mother lives.

Are you my mother?

So, it's now 12:30 AM and I'm exhausted, but I can't sleep and I have a raging headache.

I want to preface this entire thing with the fact that I would not change one single thing about my life growing up. My mom (really my grandmother) is one of the best things that ever happened to me and I wouldn't change being raised by her for anything in the world.

For those who really know me, the short story is, I found my mother on Facebook. Yes, my real mother.

For those who don't know me (or don't know the whole thing), here's the story: I think I was about 5 years old and my mother and I were living with my grandmother (parents were divorced). One day, I was up in my mother's room, looking out the window. I remember seeing her (my mother) walking out across the lawn and I believe she was on her way to work. Little did I know that would be the last time I saw her.

Fast forward a few years...I'm still living with my grandmother (who I started calling 'mom'). I was getting ready to leave for dance class and the phone rings. I answer it and it turns out to be an administrator from some hospital (I don't remember which one). This was the day I found out I had two half-brothers. The call was because there were some hospital bills that weren't paid for and that was the contact number she gave. I remember hanging up the phone and just crying. I didn't know why at the time. I think it may have been overwhelming at that age to find out that I had two half-brothers that I didn't even know about.

Now, fast forward many years (to about two years ago). I was looking through pictures at my mom's house and she says something like "Hold on a second. I guess I should give you these.". It was pictures of one of my half brothers and another picture with him, their dog and my mother's husband. I sat and cried. I was sad, hurt and jealous.

It's funny. Even when you know you didn't do anything wrong, you still wonder. Why did she leave me? Why did they get to be a family? Did the boys and her husband even know about me? (don't laugh...my father's 2 best friends didn't know he had a daughter...I was about 17 at the time. Not exactly new to the world.) Man...no wonder I have abandonment issues. Two parents that left and wanted nothing to do with me.

So, tonight I was just messing around on Facebook. Looking up old friends, co-workers and family. I decided "What the hell. I'll look her up.". Very. First. Entry. Now, I don't know what to do. Should I contact her? Should I just leave it alone?

I want to know why. And, honestly, I feel like I deserve an answer. I want to know my two half-brothers. Growing up, I wanted nothing more than a sibling and now here are two that I may never know. I'm afraid that if I contact her, she'll want to be a part of my life now. I don't know that I want that. I don't know that I don't want it. I'm afraid that she'll want something. From what I've heard, she's a taker, not a giver. And I have heard or seen nothing to contradict that. Basically, she's a complete stranger to me.

So, that's where I'm at. Tired, torn and a bad headache. This sucks.

I met someone (somewhat) famous before they were (somewhat) famous!

So, apparently, I have some "very rare" pictures of a now somewhat famous wrestler. I put "very rare" in quotes because every site that I saw that had this guy dressed up as previous characters were marked as rare or very rare. So, why can't I put it?

If you've ever watched the ECW, you may have seen Jonathan Rechner -- better known as Balls Mahoney. I've seen this guy wrestle many, many times, but under a different name.

Way back when I was 18, my ex and I used to go to wrestling matches in an almost deserted strip mall in Berlin, NJ. (I knew about the place from an ex before that - we used to go and help set up the chairs before the matches and then take them down afterwards) The matches were fought by students of the Monster Factory Wrestling School, owned by Larry Sharpe (yes, "Pretty Boy" Larry Sharpe). I LOVED going to these things! It was like old time wrestling -- not the "soap operas for men" we have today. There were always big name wrestlers coming through, too! I remember seeing The Bushwackers and King Kong Bundy. He is one big man. I went up to him to say hi and ended up holding his cup of water for him while he signed autographs. Wasn't smart enough to get one myself (an autograph that is) though.

Anyway, when he started out, Jonathan Rechner wrestled as Abbudah Singh. He was my all time favorite out of all the guys there at the time. Here are some pics I took:

There was another time he showed up at the matches, but this time he was Xanta Klaus. We knew it was him, but he wouldn't admit it. I believe that was his first character for the WWF. We did get our picture taken with him:

So, aside from meeting Bobby Darren when I was a little kid, this has been my only other brush with the famous. I'll take whatever I can get.

By the way...if you're interested, Monster Factory is still operating and has moved to Bellmawr, NJ. I think they have matches every Saturday at 2:00...check their website for actual info: http://www.monsterfactory.com. I'm thinking of checking it out one of these days.